i can’t help but 


sob 


myself to sleep every night 


thinking 


of how dumb i must be to be 


worried 


about my insecurities when there are thousands 


dying 


every single day. 


so what you’re not chinese enough ? 


in times where being an eastern asian and having that run through your blood, even if


born 


in WHATEVER country puts you at risk 


to be 


beaten and 


tormented 


for existing , i 


weep 


for my sisters and brothers who don’t have the luxury of 


passing. 


my auntie in new york wrote me a story of her first covid related injustice 


a teller at the bank 


happily chatting away to a customer prior to her, 


upon my auntie reaching the booth , she 


drew 


up her scarf to cover her face , 


a makeshift mask,  


and her demeanour 


changed 


to that of short tempered and dismissive.


perhaps you would 


think nothing 


of such a tale  , if you are not the one to 


live it


or understand the connotations alongside it . 


but the teller was just 


personifying 


all those negative words people have spewed into the world to do with being a certain race 


the president himself called it 


a 


chinese virus .


therefore , 


us chinese are to blame. 


but i am not chinese enough 


to be verbally assaulted 


about bringing covid 


to this country 


yet my heart still weeps  


in solidarity 


for those who are.
​